THE MEANING BEHIND THE TITLE

cha•o•tic |kāˈätik|
adjective
in a state of complete confusion and disorder

pa•tience |ˈpā sh əns|
noun
the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset
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CHAOTIC PATIENCE:

I wouldn't go as far to say that my life is in disorder, however, I will completely agree that it's in a state of complete confusion. Almost a month ago I came to the realization that I will be 30 in a year and a half. Usually by now, most of us my age are established their careers and relationships. For me it's almost the complete opposite.

Although I'm not where I want to be, I'm fine with that. It's not easy at times to accept that I still struggle with being single (going on 13 years now), and still want my childhood dream career. As I work at obtaining both I know that God is in control. His plan for my life will be revealed in His timing. Until then I have to remain faithful and committed to Christ. This season of my life has been pretty unique. I've been through quite a few things which has allowed me to grow and look at life from a difference vantage point.

But I think that the most important area that I've seen the most amount of growth is in my relationship with Christ. Since the beginning of the year, I've been taking full advantage of the extra "free" time I've had and plugging myself into God's Word and deepening my relationship with Him. I know that my current status in life is only temporary, however, when things eventually change I know that I'll be rooted and grounded deeper in Him which will help me in all areas of my life.

Am I disappointed with my life? Absolutely not. About 5 months or so ago I asked God for patience in my life. Believe me, since then it's been a daily lesson. Although at times I become frustrated I know that God is in control and that this is just Him reassuring me to continue to trust Him.